Sta.sh
Arthur sighed as he slid beneath his covers. He was drained. Not physically, but emotionally. He wasn't sure what to do. About his feelings. About her. He wanted her. But he didn't want to get hurt and be left alone…again.
She was always on his mind. Everyday he would pull himself from his home to see her face. 'Just once' he told him self every morning. 'Just once a day, everyday. Seeing her would make the pain cease.'
He stared into the darkness of his room, running his fingers through his messy blond hair over and over again. He even wondered how he could sleep through the night. All those sleeping pills and tea before bed never did him any good. His mind was too occupied with the same questions that raced through his mind madly: 'Will I let her into my heart and into my life or…will I try to forget in order to save me from pain?'
Arthur squeezed his eyes shut as the pain in his chest returned with the company of prickling tears in his eyes. His heart was suffering and neglected of the love that he craved for. That craved for her.
To be bound, so the world may never touch?
Isn't this, too, just fate, and nothing more?
Fade away, fade away, what I want to say to love."
It wasn't long before Arthur sighed out her name, falling asleep. For him, this is where the real battle began.
The area was white. Plain, bright and white. For miles did the nothingness stretched on. Even the shadow for his figure was as blank as the atmosphere around him.
Groaning at the familiarity of this place, he knew what his main objectives were. To get out…but there were two paths and one would lead him to what he desires most.
Not being completely sure of what was what and where was where, the Englishman continued to walk straight ahead. 'How will I get out this time?' he questioned his thoughts, re-thinking the previous events that have taken place in this 'dream' of his.
When he began this sequence, he would find himself looking into a reflection. Nothing more. Just him and his self. He felt safe then.
Just recently is when things started to stir, throwing off the balance of what Arthur found to be 'safety'.
He would see her. The girl of his dreams. She would be just beyond his reach. Over and over again would he run after her. Crying out her name, hoping for her to turn around and grab his hand that he held out. A hand that desperately wanted to hold hers. But, as he was about to even touch her hand, he would be snatched out of his dream and torn back into reality, painfully.
His fists clenched hard as he pressed on through the blank space. Suddenly, the atmosphere changed.
One by one, a figure would appear. It would appear to look like her! Having his breath hitch in his throat, he turned in all directions over looking the look a likes. They all were a perfect replica of her. But, looking into their eyes, he saw nothing. Arthur cringed as they slowly closed in on him, chanting out his name now and then. 'Is this some sort of trick?!' He thought furiously. He started to clench his fists so hard that his knuckles became white.
When I'm alone with a stranger.
Is this what they call 'destiny'?
Just a fading crumbled darkened universe…"
As they got closer, one by one would Arthur knock over. Punches or kicks, he didn't care. He didn't care for these fakes. He wanted the real her. One that was so flourished with life and warmth which would seem like 'cloud 9'. These fakes were cold and lifeless. Mere bodied shells for dolls.
He knocked the last one down and jumped over it's corpse, continuing to run seeing one last figure. It was her! He has seen her colors through the white space and once more reached out his arm, calling out her name.
As he got closer, she slowly turned around with a smile so sinister you'd call it a Cheshire grin. Having her lovely appearance fade, it turned into his reflection. Arthur gasped as sweat ran down his forehead. His reflection faded away as the white world crumbled having specks of a darkness fly around him, soon jolting him into reality.
Arthur flinched violently as he maliciously sucked in air. Cold sweat covered his body as all feeling came back to him. His hand still clenched onto his sheets. His eyes as wide as saucers. He stared at the semi-lit room before having the vision blurred by the tears that formed in his eyes. It hurt Arthur…
…a lot.
Feeling worse then the night before, he still carried on with his daily routine. He would shower, dress himself and head out the door to work long stressful hours. Then on his way back home, he would visit the flower stand where she worked. The scenery of it all tugged small smiles to poor Arthur.
His love surrounded by the most beautiful flowers in England. By looking at her, his heart fluttered. By hearing her voice, his face would heat up. By feeling her touch, his chest would tightened.
Yes, all the signs were there and it made perfect sense to Arthur.
He was in love.
That night, he popped a couple of sleeping pills as he downed the last of his evening tea which became cold and tasteless after the hours he spent daydreaming about her. The anxiety of it all started to tingle around his body as things started to clear in his mind. He had made a decision.
One thing that caught his eye before he left off to his chamber was a old-fashioned pair of silver scissors that sat on the counter of his bathroom. He looked over it's fine detail before furrowing his eyebrows and heading of down the dark corridor.
Again, he slid under the cold covers that quickly became warm with his body heat. Oddly, this time, his eyelids fell heavy and fast. Arthur felt a little alarmed and suspicious, but he gave in to it out of curiosity.
Opening his eyes, he was in a place that was opposite to what his previous dreams were. Yes, darkness.
Everything was an unsettling shade of black. Hesitantly, he began to take steps forward and soon into a erythematic stroll. His heart beat became faster as well as his alertness -right to the point where he trembled. He wasn't scared, oh no, he most certainly wasn't. One could say he was anticipating for what was to happen next.
He could feel the vibe of suspense course through his veins as he shakily called out her name. He listened as it echoed through the darkness with no return of a reply. Sighing he continued on his way.
When this stupid game will come to an end.
What do I have to do to understand what love
And desire truly mean to you?"
SHINK!
An object with a bright shine landed just ahead of him. Old fashioned scissors to he exact. They looked like the same ones that were stowed away in his bathroom. Sweat started to form on Arthur's forehead as a figured appeared. His reflection stepped into a more 'appropriate' place for lighting -revealing himself but not his eyes. Arthur gave a small gasp of surprise soon having his bright green eyes dim into a cold scowl. Yes, it was his reflection, but, he no longer felt safe near it.
Sweet words that you've kept me shackled on to?
And isn't it alright for me to kill that part of me you hate so much?
But I…"
The mirrored Arthur held his palm out, turning it so that it faced down. He swept it across in front of him as shards of white zipped from him and to the real Arthur. Terrified and a bit paralyzed by what he was seeing, he didn't dare move. A few of these shards whipped passed his still body, nearly grazing his skin as some cut through the fabric of his jacket. It hurt, but it wasn't the kind of pain you would get from an actual wound. This pain racked his mind. His lip quivered as he tried to find the strength to move and act.
"It's just us two. We're safe together. No one can get hurt when we're together."
The reflection's voice- his voice- echoed through the darkness as it rang through Arthur's ears. Arthur cringed as he twitched his hand, mentally begging for his numb body to respond. The reflection laughed mockingly at his actions as he repeated the sweeping motion, summoning another shard. A big one. Arthur watched as the reflection moved his arm swiftly, sending the shard directly at him. Arthur's eyes widened as if he was a deer staring mercilessly into a pair of headlights.
It almost felt as if it all happened in slow motion. As the shard plunged itself into his abdomen forcing his body to fall back like a rag doll. He felt his limp body ball back as the shard disappeared from its spot. 'Get up…get up!' He mentally pleaded as he shut his eyes tight and focused on getting his body to respond.
Laughing boomed loudly as the sound of footsteps increased in volume.
All the things that I've been trying so hard for?
Is it ok to just kill them all away?
As well as seeing the me you seem to hate so much."
The mirror image walked over to the real deal and step over him, looking down at him with the sharp metal object that was clenched tightly in his grip. Slowly, he knelt down, grabbing Arthur's collar and pulling him up. His other hand clenched harder onto the scissors as he raised him above his head, ready to dispose the 'hope for love' part of Arthur.
Staring at his face tears brimmed in his dark eyes as his hand with the scissor trembled. Did he really want to lose? Does Arthur want to leave his loneliness for this woman? Tears dripped off the reflections face, dripping onto Arthur's face, slightly awakening his senses and snapping open his eyes. Arthur stared at the face of his enemy, seeing the tears on the verge of overflowing as well as the shine of the scissors. The reflection shook his head violently.
"Heck with it all!" it screamed, swinging it's arm down in the direction of his heart. But--- it was stopped.
Before the scissors could come close to his chest, Arthur grabbed the wrist of his mirror image and stared into the eyes of it's loneliness. The reflection's eyes became wide as his arm became limp, allowing the scissors to fall to the ground. Arthur smiled and whipped his tears away. The actions that reassured that he was ready for what he wanted…
…love.
Is this really a bond that no one can come close to?"
Slowly, Arthur brought the mirror to his arms and held it close. He was done. He didn't want to feel lonely anymore. For once he was ready to move on from being alone.
The reflection became numb and leaned towards the body of hope, slowly crumbling into peices and dissapearing into the atmosphere that became lighter and lighter. Arthur watched with wide eyes as the Arthur known as "loneliness" faded away into the white with a smile on it's face.
Watch it all face away, fade away, this transient dream…"
Arthur sat there, his arms still in the form of the embrace he had given. He stared into the white atmosphere as it slowly turned into a lovely color. The color of the sky. He smiled as he stood up ready to start a new point in his life.
…
Light peeked through the heavy curtains, lighting up the room and shining warmly into Arthur's and the 'love of his life's' face. He opened his eyes to greet the sight of her laying next to him seeing her looking like an angel that was sent just for him. He shuffled closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.
For once, he woke up smiling.
So pretty much what Arthur is dealing with is to either choose to man up and confess his feelings for others or stay isolated with himself. (The mirror image) Since he's been hurt in the past he's grown a outer shell which, in his mind, created another world for only he and himself to live in. So when he meets someone wonderful (the reader) he tries to break that wall. Get it?
Such a good song.
This is wonderful, by the way. <3
I love how you built around the Focal Character of the RI instead of the Reader. It's a nice change of pace. ouo