[x]

"Are you sure this is going to work, Dave?"

"Yeah, man. [Name] will totally want your dick after seeing you in those sweet threads."

"Okay…if you say so…"

= = = = = =

Dave was out for the day doing God knows what and [Name] and Davesprite were lounging about his apartment. It was a particular "do-nothing" day for the both of them, which meant it was either a Leap Year or just about every other day of the damn year. [Name] was a lazy fucker and people would just have to deal with it.

Davesprite was floating around in the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and gazing into the nearly empty contraption before closing the door on

Jake E. x Reader ~ Hide n' SeekNow, here's a question. How is it that when you like something as a toddler, you hate it as a child, then think it's the most bad-ass thing when you become a teenager? Backyardigans, for example. Or Teletubbies. Perhaps some other pre-school show. But what about Hide n' Seek? Do you ever really outgrow that?
The answer is no.
No you don't.
And what's more fun than playing the spectacular, magnificent game with your friend in the middle of the woods? Well, probably anything.
[Name] sighed, leaned against the skinny tree she was hiding behind and rubbing her forehead with her hand. Dammit Jake. If only she knew where he was, so that she could tell him she gave up and they could leave to go do something non-"adventurous." The only reason she strayed from her dear laptop is because Jake, of all people, had asked her to. Stupid boy with his stupid charm and stupid good looks. For all she knew, [Name's] sexual urges could have a sitcom made out of them, they had the comedic ability. He'd nev

Dave x Reader ~ Face to FaceToday was the day, [Name]. Today was the day. However, [Name] wished that today was a better day. It was absolutely below freezing on her end, and since her mom was so frugal, the heater stayed on low. So, she had to walk around her house in a nice fluffy coat and scarf, mug of hot chocolate never leaving her side. But, back on the subject of Today. The day. The day, more specifically, that she'd get to see her friend Dave for the first time, thanks to the new video-chat thing she just installed in pester-chum. Allow the "Woot Woot"'s to commence. What a day this would be.
She stepped into her room, turning on her little portable heater to remain some form of "warm" and setting her 5th mug of hot chocolate down on her old computer desk. She set everything up, the sat down and huddled up on the computer chair, drawing her knees up to her chest. After taking a huge gulp of throat-burning chocolaty liquid, [Name] opened up pesterchum and sent a video request to the bright red,

Fight me! ~ Dave x Reader request for SilverReiraIt was 6:40 in the morning, 20 minutes before Homeroom bell rang. Meanwhile, [Name] was sitting out in the courtyard, tapping her foot impatiently on the pavement. How rude of Strider to keep her waiting! She sighed and slid her backpack off, awaiting the arrival of the cool kid.
As if her thoughts were a call across the heavens, She looked over and noticed none other than Dave Strider strolling towards her, his backpack slung over one shoulder. [Name] grinned cockily and approached him, cracking her knuckles and calling out.
"Ready to wrestle, cool kid?" At the sound of her threat, Dave bowed his head a bit and chuckled, approaching her to give her a quick, chaste kiss. He backed away, sliding his bag off and putting his fists up.
"Whenever you're ready, hun. You know the only thing sicker than my beats are my moves, unable to be defeated, set in place like a record's grooves, any-" Unfortunately for any aspiring rapper hoping to take notes, Dave's rhyme was interrupted by a fis

Letting Go {SOBER!GAMZEE}

Gamzee Makara
Letting Go

He had set your body in the corner of his little cove. He hadn't decapatized you, like the bodies of his old friends, and shoved you into a freezer. No, he had taken your corpse to Kanaya, sobbing and begging her to fix you. The jade-blooded rainbow-drinker had accepted, taking your corpse and stuffing it.

She had placed some makeup on your skin and dressed you in a handmade dress- it was long and orange, with purple trimming along the side. Your symbol- a large cross, like that in the Human's religions- was threaded into the purple belt that came under your chest in orange, completing the ensemble.

Kanaya present

Lazy days - Dave Strider x Reader

It was one of yours and Dave's "lazy days".

More like he pretty much crashed at your place at 1 a.m in the morning and now both of you are too tired to move.

So here you were just sitting on your bed staring at your walls that were covered in posters with Lights and Paramore. Everywhere.

Seeing as this wasn't getting you guys anywhere , you turned to Dave, heavily lifted your arm and grasped the Striders shades; hey, you were a curious chick. Unfortunately with Dave's fast reflexes he snatched your wrist faster then you could even process what time it was.

"____. No."

"Dave, I've known you for like, ever. Just let me see." You blew a str

Gamzee X Reader .:Spin The Faygo:.-----------------
I had some fun getting to narrate as Gamzee. Haha very rude language ahoy!
If you are sensitive to foul words why and exactly HOW did you read Homestuck?
-----------------

2nd Person POV
The sun was beginning to set as you sit.
Your first pick was definitely Gamzee,he was the troll who came to mind when it came to a first time experience and you really want to see his face when he witnesses such a sight.

He'd make you try just about everything when you went on sight seeing tours,and a few times he had to carry your sick ass home after vomiting due to some raw,gross foods or even things that weren't even food that Gam SOMEH

Miracle Hinacle {SOLLUX CAPTOR}

[A/N]: OMG THE DESU.
Listen to Miracle Hinacle while reading this.
Link to English Lyrics and English Sun in the description!

Solluc Captor
Miracle Hinacle

Your name is... you don't remember... and you have a unique ability.

Using other's misery, you can turn it into good fortune. While you occasionally use it for yourself, you prefer to use it to help them.

Your legend is known as 'the miracle girl.'

Due to your ability, you've mastered the ability to control both time and space and bend them into positive outcomes. And because of that, you can bend the space around you to 'fly' or 'float.' You also bend time to 'disappear' from your 'v

Dirk x Reader - The Cafe [CH1]“Bro, c’mon. I’ve got to get to work.”

“I’m comin’, little dude. Just give me a minute.”

Dirk looked at himself in the mirror. He brushed his hair into its usual style. He fixed his glasses, making sure they weren’t crooked or anything. He wanted to look perfect and damn, was he good at look perfect. He finally straightened his shirt and walked out of the bathroom.

“All you’re doing is taking me to work, and you had to dress up like you’re going to some apple juice fest.” Dave rolled his eyes and walked with Dirk out to the car.

Every morning at precisely 10:00

Dirk x Reader - Roll Up

It’s about 12 o’clock in the afternoon and you’re sitting on the couch, curled up to your boyfriend, Karkat Vantas. The two of you are watching rom coms on a new flat screen that you had bought. You were excited to test it out, considering the fact that it took you months and many paychecks to obtain. You certainly enjoyed it and it seemed that Karkat did, too.

“[Name], get dressed.” Karkat says in a usual growling and demanding tone. “After this movie, we’ll go get something to eat.” You nodded and crawl out of your position to get dressed.

You head for yours and Karkat’s bedroom, where

Tavros x Imaginary!Reader - BelieveTavros loved his imaginary friend. The two of them were the best of friends, always chatting and playing silly games. His imaginary friend’s name was Rufio. Tavros thought he was just the coolest, and he always wanted to be like him. That’s what best friends had always wished, right?

Even though Tavros and Rufio were best friends, no one believed Tavros when he said that Rufio was real. Gamzee pretended to think he was there, but it was never real. Karkat just scolded him for it. Dave said that only babies had imaginary friends. Even Jade, one of his closest human friends said that she had given up her imaginary friend when she w

Loads of Trouble - JohnxReaderxDave

You sighed as you walked down the streets past the multitudes of coffee shops and clothing boutiques. Jade and Rose had just texted you apologizing that they couldn’t make it to the meet up with you. You hoped that finally all five of you guys could at least have one day where you all hung out, but that seemed impossible nowadays. You put away you phone and continued to walk to the park where it was said you guys would meet up. You turned the corner only to see two familiar figures. One was clad in blue and the other in red. They seemed to be in a fist fight and attracting a whole lot of attention.

Your eyes widened and you ran over to

The Complexities of Quadrants {Karkat X reader}So, you had never been the kind of girl that got new stuff in school right off the back. It had always taken you a while for the information to finally click and for you to get that eureka moment. Complex and useless subjects like math were extremely hard for you and often took you a while to understand. That’s kind of how you were feeling as an obviously irritated Karkat tried to explain Troll’s quadrants to you. He was very passionate about them, and the fact that you didn’t understand them was eating him alive. Basically the long conversation between you two which had been going in circles for about an hour was going som

Dave x Reader : More than friends : Homestuck

“Oh, hey Dirk! What’s up, is Dave here?” You ask while fist pumping Dirk when he opened the door.

“Yea, he’s in his room right now. Nice to see you lil’ sis,” Dirk says smiling a bit.

“Thanks Dirk!” You say. You gave Dirk a quick hug and ran over to Dave’s room. You knock and a muffled voice is heard behind the door saying it’s open.

You open the door to see Dave struggling to put his shirt on because of the shades he’s always wearing. This always seemed to happen when you came in and you were sort-of used to it. The shirt was stuck on Dave’s head leaving his ch

Unwound. Reader x Davesprite

He didn't understand what part of him was angered by the fact she hung out with Dave all the time, because he was Dave; just not the Dave that she wanted to be with. In a way, he was just a copy – the future of the guy she liked, an orange-cream carbon copy. But, Davesprite knew that this Dave, the original Dave, did not think much of the [h/c] human girl – at least not yet, of course.

He cursed himself, the Dave in present time, with a vial hate. It was unfair to him to have to watch [Name] attempt to win Dave's affections over when she already had Davesprites', the Dave from the future, love.

But she didn't want him, she wanted Dave.

I a

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Is it okay to love? EnglandxReader

((A/N:Important! Before you read, you must know this is based on a song and is sort of a songfic. I've changed the lyrics a tad to fit in with the story. It may be a little confusing if you don't recognize the song. If you still don't understand, ask me nicely in the comments and I will help you. Anyways, please enjoy ^^ ))

Arthur sighed as he slid beneath his covers. He was drained. Not physically, but emotionally. He wasn't sure what to do. About his feelings. About her. He wanted her. But he didn't want to get hurt and be left alone…again.

She was always on his mind. Everyday he would pull himself from his home to see her face. 'Jus

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Dat ass - Jake English - Homestuck [Reader insert]

by ~ArtisticallyDerpy, Dec 22, 2012, 7:15:26 PM
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Fantasy / Short Stories

"OW!"

Yeah, that was pretty much all I could say.

Well, cutting to the chase I can only say that I'm currently staggering here with a bloody nose, and the reason I am sooooo not telling.

The only thing I could thing of at this point was to run. Somewhere where he wouldn't see me.

"_____!"

Fuck. Speaking of the devil. Here he was. Of course there he was…

With out looking, I made a graceful mad-dash to the girls washroom holding onto my nose only yelling the words that came to my mind at that point.

"FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. BALLS. WALRUS. ASS. SHIT. FUCK NO."

I can guarantee half of my high-school campus could hear me loud and clear.

--- in the washroom ---

I quickly washed some of the blood off. Slowly, I uncovered my nose that now had a lovely scratch right across the middle.

Hold up.

Gurl, listen here.

How in the heavenly hell did a scratch get there?

Whatever. I give up.

Beep, Beep!

Sighing, I slid my phone out of my pocket noticing that someone was pestering me. Yes. Even if kids of today have this thing called texting, this twat still would rather pester me instead.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

GolgothaTerror [GT] started pestering /chum handle [CH]

GT: Bullox _______!

GT: why'd you run off like that?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
….

Jake.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CH: uhm, id rather not tell to be honest.

CH: all I can tell you is, I have a tiny scratch on my face…

CH:

GT: Seriously? From what?

GT: You didn't get into fisticuffs with anyone have you?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pfffft! Fisticuffs. Oh Jake.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CH: English, please. I would've gotten something worst then a scratch.

GT: True, you are the kind to be a tad klutz

CH: I know you can't see me right now, but im rolling my eyes at you. >:l

GT: Yes, yes. Now, speaking of which, where are you?

CH: girls washroom.

GT: oh, well, good thing I just happen to be at the door!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

REALLY?! D<

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CH: >___> stalker.

GT: ______ I am of no such thing. Now come out so I can take a gander at this scratch

GT: then you will tell me how you got it.

CH: no

GT: what?

CH: nooooo.

CH: N. O. NO~

GT: _____ come out this instant or I'm coming in.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point, I rolled my eyes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ChumHandle [CH] disconnected.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shoved my phone into my pocket and trotted into the stall. Who was he kidding? A gentle man like Jake walking into the girls bathroom? Please. Like hell he would.

BANG BANG BANG.

"______! I know you're in there!" he yelled in having that god motherfucking damned accent slide out. I rolled my eyes.

"So what?! ITS MY RIGHT AS A WOMAN TO BE IN THE WOMENS LOOOO!" I mocked his accent, surely hoping it would annoy him enough for him to stomp off.

Unlucky for me, he was a stubborn ass mule. Badum, tssshhh.

"I'm coming in _____."

"Do it and I'll send Roxy AND Jane after you."

"I don't care, get your arse out here, now!"

"No."

"______…?"

The door creaked open.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

"Jake, I will kill you so help me!"

The steps got closer.

"Jake I'm not kidding! Get out!"

The steps stopped.

I waited.

And waited.

Nothing.

What the hell?

I slowly unlatched the door and peeked out getting ready to be in stealth mode.

Nothing?

Nothing!

Phew.

I trotted out scanning the bathroom for any other being. What the hell? No one was here. I shrugged thinking that he just gave up and walked out closing the door behind me.

And low and behold.

There. He. Fucking. Was.

"Fuck." I muttered covering my nose instinctively -avoiding eye contact at any cost. I heard him sigh as he walked up to me and gently grabbed my wrist.

"____? Move the hand."

I shook my head.

I could hear him mutter something before giving my wrist a tug.

"Please?"

Fuck, don't. Please no--
Of course he did.

I watched as he slowly bent down to my level, locking eye contact. Slowly, I found my self staring into his god damned beautiful green eyes. And to top this off, he was giving me puppy eyes!

You could pretty much say that guilt enveloped my senses and slowly I moved my hand revealing that nice scratch over my nose. I heard him chuckle.

"Now how did you get that.?" He asked with that toothy grin of his. Reminding myself of the reason, my face heated up in a matter of seconds.

"I- Uh.." I shook my head wanting to protest.

Before I could say anymore, he leaned up and pecked my nose making me blush even more.

"T-The hell?" I muttered out. He smiled.

"You can tell me, don't worry."

I bit my lip. Could I tell him? Of course!

What would he think though?

I-I don't know.

I took a deep breath and muttered out that sentence. And judging by his face, he didn't hear.

"What was that?"

"I said I was staring at your ass then walked into a wall!! Happy?"

I slapped my hands over my mouth and turned.

"I must leave." I muttered before absconding to god-knows where.

---- Later with Jake. -----

GolgothaTerror [GT] started pestering TimaeusTestified [TT]:

GT: Dirk, what does it mean when a girl was staring at your ass?

TT: …..

TT: Seriously Jake?

TT: Seriously?

GT: What?

TimaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering.

Dat ass - Jake English - Homestuck [Reader insert]by ~ArtisticallyDerpy

Literature / Prose / Fiction / Fantasy / Short Stories

This?

This is shit.

First time writing anything Homestuck.

I'm terribly sorry for the way Jake acts.

e_e

I do not own Homestuck or Jake English.

Kay?

I wish I did tho.

Cause dem shorts and dat ass
(quote by my friend xD )